Wisdom of the Tao

Three Ways to Live Without Resentments

Someone must risk returning injury with kindness,
or hostility will never turn to goodwill.

Tao Te Ching

To live without resentments, you must change the way you hold onto them. Resentments survive and thrive because you are unwilling to let them go. At the heart of the matter is your ego's need to be right. You extend kindness to yourself by letting go of your anger. As you practice love and forgiveness, you allow yourself to live in peace and harmony.

To live beyond judgment, change the way you look at yourself and others.

Become aware of when you are judging and criticizing. Start substituting noticing for judging. Gradually you will move away from the need or want to pit yourself against others. You will begin to see yourself as a person who notices rather than judges. Kindness with no judgment becomes a way of life when you see yourself in others.

To live by cooperating, practice seeing yourself in others.

The Tao Te Ching teaches that all life emerges from the same Source Energy. There is only a state of oneness. When you speak or act in ways that hurt others, you hurt yourself as well. You experience their pain. When you live by cooperating with others, you raise your own level of excellence as well. You use the power of others to elevate yourself. Shift your thinking from competition to cooperation and put harmony back in your life.

To live with self-mastery, focus on understanding yourself rather than blaming others.

Whatever emotions you may be feeling, take your attention away from anyone you hold responsible for them. No one has this power over you without your consent. Bypass blame and let go of your need to understand the other person. Focus instead on understanding yourself and change your perception that others have power over you. Take responsibility for how you respond to other people and events.

A tree that cannot bend will crack in the wind.
Tao Te Ching

The Tao Te Ching helps you to follow the Great Way by closely studying nature. You will notice how solid and durable things in the natural world are often gentle and even weak. Lao-tzu views life as soft and pliable. So listen more and allow your viewpoints to be challenged. By bending when necessary, you are actually choosing strength.